Running Rampant
by Almost Romantic
Summary: With the takeover of the Sues, the dragon temple-and the dragon world, for that matter-is in shambles! Spyro, Flame, Cynder, Ember, and even a few of the sues must defeat Malefor once and for all! Will they make it, or will they kill each other first?
1. Chapter 1

**Running Rampant **

**Chapter 1**

"Sweet Jesus," muttered Spyro. "When did the entire dragon race decide to live in the dragon temple?"

"It's not the entire dragon race, Spyro," Cynder said. "Just every twelve-year-old human that thinks that they're good at writing, so they insert themselves into their fanfic as a dragon. Because, you know, that's completely possible and not cliché in the least." She flicked her tail disdainfully—she, Spyro, the Guardians, and the few dragons that had taken refuge in the dragon temple before the world was almost destroyed resented the very existence of the newcomers.

"The dragon temple is supposed to be a private residence, where the Guardians and a few select apprentices live. It's not a damned apartment complex, where everyone that wants to lives and goes to school for free." He idly scratched a wood shaving off of the charred floor of the training arena, where they were watching two of the newcomers spar. "At least they're entertaining."

"Agreed," snickered Cynder as she turned back to watch the sparring newcomers; two pink dragonesses, one with a white underbelly and purple horns, and one with a light yellow underbelly and white horns.

They were both disgustingly voluptuous; it was painfully apparent that they had tried their absolute best to be sexually appealing, but they had over-done it by an extraordinarily wide margin. Their syntax, diction, and grammar weren't much better than their appearance, either. Nearly all of them spoke with the language skills of a mentally challenged child—although, it was questionable if some of them actually were mentally challenged children. They also had the irritating tendency to speak in giant, run-on sentences that never seemed to end.

"I told you I love Spyro more than you do so you can't have him!" The dragoness with the white underbelly, named Bella, shrieked. She opened her mouth, where an unimaginably giant and disproportionate fireball formed. She shot it at the other dragoness, who was also named Bella.

The defending Bella jumped nearly a hundred feet into the air, without even flapping her wings, and shot an equally ridiculously large fireball at the first Bella.

"It sure would suck if they ever decided that they wanted to hurt _us, _instead of fighting with each other to see who can have me or you," said Spyro.

"Don't be silly," snorted Cynder, "They love us too much. As of about three weeks ago, sixty four of them have died for us for no reason at all. In fact, just last night I was about to trip, and one of the newcomers jumped in front of me and let me fall onto her. Of course, since she was a preteen and I'm practically an adult now, she was pretty flat."

Spyro groaned. "Their affection is disgusting. At least you don't get hordes of girls trying to kiss you. They're half my size, though—which, despite the fact that it's really weird, is a good thing."

"How could that possibly be a good thing?" Cynder asked, watching the two dragonesses trying to strangle each other while flying fifty feet above the training room floor.

"Because they have to jump or fly at me in order to kiss me, and since they have such exaggerated movements, I've got plenty of time to get out of the way."

"Ah," smiled Cynder.

"I'm not sure what's worse," said Flame, who had walked up behind them, "Having a harem of low-life, preteen dragonesses that look and act exactly the same, or having your girlfriend be too preoccupied with the male dragons to even notice you."

Spyro laughed. "I'd much rather Ember's romantic endeavors with me than these… uh, _new _dragonesses."

Flame frowned. "I just don't see how she finds those dragons attractive. They're all exactly the same, too! They all have black scales, they're quiet and reserved, they're orphans, and all but one of them served under Malefor, even though Cynder was literally the only dragon besides Malefor that was even mentioned. They must have cleaned his toilets or something."

"That would explain why they always act like they were horrifically mistreated," mused Spyro.

"I don't even recognize any of them," said Cynder thoughtfully. "They must've been _way _down low on the totem pole."

"I just wish that they'd realize that we don't want to be around them," Spyro muttered.

"I know, right? Why can't they just date amongst themselves?" Flame mumbled.

"But almost all of them are girls," Cynder said. "There are maybe six or seven male newcomers."

Spyro and Flame looked at each other and grinned, slapping their wings together.

"You two are disgusting," muttered Cynder, rolling her eyes.

Suddenly, Spyro stiffened as a bright pink tail slid sensually across his shoulders and wing joints, making him shiver. A blindingly bright pink dragoness had crept up behind the trio and was using the element of surprise to attempt to get close to the purple dragon of her dreams. "The guardians want to see you," she whispered in his ear in an exaggeratedly cute voice.

"That's great," muttered Spyro. "Now get the hell off of me."

"B-but… but you love me!" Whimpered the pink dragoness, her turquoise eyes watering.

"No, you _think _I love you. Get a boyfriend and stop chasing after me," sighed Spyro, pushing past her.

Cynder skirted around the pink dragoness and followed Spyro, but Flame walked up to her cautiously. "Hey," he said. "What's your name?"

The pink dragoness sniffed. "Bella," she said sadly.

Flame sighed, rolling his eyes. "Never mind," he muttered, running past her to catch up with Spyro and Cynder.

…

"We have a problem," sighed Terrador as he sat down at his spot around the pool of visions. The other guardians, along with Spyro, Cynder, Flame, and Ember, were also gathered in a rough circle. "Malefor… has returned."

None of them batted an eye. "_That's _what's so important? That happens every weekend. Why should we be concerned this time?" Flame snorted.

"Because this time is different," Terrador sighed. "The sheer amount of preteen angst coming off of all of the new coming dragons and dragonesses has been absorbed by Malefor, making him stronger than ever."

"Is that like the last twenty times he's been stronger than ever?" Interrupted Spyro. "Because if so, then you're making mountains out of molehills."

"No," growled Terrador, growing impatient, "It's not. He actually is stronger than ever this time. And, he's broken the world apart." He paused for a moment, and then added, "Again."

"Great," sighed Cynder. "I hate it when he does that. Have any of the newcomers gone missing lately? He might be re-using them as servants because of their tortured, angst-y past."

"Hey, remember that time that he used you like that?" Laughed Spyro. "He made you wear a pink bow on your head because you turned against him."

Cynder blushed. "Don't remind me," she muttered.

"Focus!" Shouted Terrador, making everyone jump. "We need to figure out what to do about this. The world is breaking apart, and we only have about a week to fix it before everyone floats off into space!"

"We could take a bunch of the newcomers as scapegoats like we usually do. If we even think about being in danger, they start throwing themselves at it with reckless abandon," suggested Flame.

"Or we could just kill all of the newcomers," suggested Cynder hopefully. "I'm tired of watching stupid, arrogant dragonesses that think Spyro loves them slobber all over him."

"We could just send a bunch of the newcomers to defeat Malefor. They're so incredibly overpowered that it should be a walk in the park," said Spyro thoughtfully.

"Or we could just kill all of the newcomers," suggested Cynder again.

Ember looked annoyed. "Or, we could show some balls and beat the hell out of Malefor ourselves for once."

"Or we could just kill all of the newcomers," suggested Cynder.

"It would be quite promiscuous to simply commit genocide against all of the young dragons and dragonesses that have arrived here lately, but since they're posing a threat to the entire world, I suppose that we can look the other way," agreed Volteer.

"But, we would want to wait until after we defeat Malefor to do that," said Spyro. "The sheer amount of angst that comes off of the newcomers because their 'lover' is killing them would surely make Malefor more powerful than even we can handle."

"That's true," said Cyril. "But we still need to defeat Malefor first. I suggest freezing the center of the earth to trap him inside it, then riddling him with ice spikes."

"Or we could fry him, using the electricity of the magnetic field that surrounds the planet. It's strongest around the core, you know," said Volteer superciliously.

Ember rubbed her temples. "We could also do it the old-fashioned way."

Flame blinked. "What's the old-fashioned way?"

Ember rolled her eyes. "We kick his ass in person. Spyro and Cynder did it and were only weak for a few days. With four of us and a small army of newcomers, it shouldn't be a problem."

"Sounds good to me," said Spyro.

"All in favor of kicking Malefor's ass in person say 'I'," said Terrador.

"I," said Spyro, Cynder, Flame, and Ember in unison.

"It's settled, then. You four will travel to the center of the earth with some of the newcomers, and hopefully kill Malefor for good this time," said Terrador. "Go to your rooms and gather your things. You'll leave first thing in the morning."


	2. Chapter 2

**Running Rampant **

**Chapter 2 **

"You know, we need to find a new name for the newcomers," said Spyro. "Saying 'newcomer' every time that we reference them is annoying."

After the meeting with the Guardians, the four young dragons reconvened in Spyro's room; it was one of the few places that had been fortified against the newcomers. Spyro lay on his side on his bed with Cynder sitting behind him, idly stroking his wing joints. Flame and Ember lay in a similar fashion on the colorful plush rug that adorned Spyro's otherwise empty room.

"How about Sues?" Suggested Cynder. "That's what they are, after all."

"Or SIBs, for self-inserting bastards!" Laughed Flame.

Ember sighed. "I don't see why you all don't like the newcomers. I think they're quite nice," she said.

"Yeah, because you're sleeping with most of the male newcomers," muttered Flame, causing Spyro and Cynder to stiffen. They had encouraged him to confront Ember about sleeping with the male newcomers, but they didn't want him to start the ensuing fight in front of them.

"How dare you!" Shrieked Ember, pushing him away. "How… How _dare _you!" She said again, obviously too angry to find anything else to say. "I mean… How—"

"Yeah, yeah, how dare I." Flame rolled his eyes. "If you wanted to just sleep around with everyone including me, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Our relationship was dwindling since before the newcomers even arrived, so I wouldn't really mind if we were just friends with benefits. But, since you insist on having a romantic relationship with me while whoring around with the newcomers—wait, my bad; _sues,_ —I don't want a damn thing to do with you anymore. It doesn't help your case that a few of the newcomers have come up to me to tell me what a good fuck you are. One or two of them started giving me advice."

Ember was completely flabbergasted. Unsure of what else to do, she flung the door open and walked out.

Spyro blinked. "That was unexpectedly calm," he noted.

Flame sighed. "Hopefully, she'll feel bad about leaving me and come to my room to have sex with me tonight." He paused for a moment. "Probably not."

"We could have a threesome," suggested Spyro, earning a slap from Cynder.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Spyro rolled his eyes, stifling a groan; just from the way that the dragon knocked, he knew who it was. "It's your turn to fend off one of the sues, Cynder," he said, motioning to the door. "And, try not to mortally wound this one," he added as an afterthought.

Cynder shrugged. "No promises," she said as she walked to the door.

"Go away," she called through the door.

"May I talk to Spyro, please?" The sickeningly sweet voice on the other side called back.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because he's _dead_."

"What? What happened?"

"He… uh…" Cynder thought for a moment. "Autoerotic asphyxiation."

Flame roared with laughter.

"… What?"

Cynder slapped a paw against her forehead. Opening the door, she roared, "_Go away!_" into the Sue's face.

The Sue looked terrified for a second, but then caught sight of Spyro, looking very amused at the entire situation.

"Cynder!" Spyro grunted, kicking the dragoness off of him. "Get her out of here!"

"She's touched you," Cynder pointed out. "Once they touch you, it's out of my domain. That's what we agreed, was it not?"

Spyro rolled his eyes. Turning back to the Sue, he pointed at the still-open door and said, "Get out."

"B-but… don't you love me?" Pouted the pink dragoness.

Spyro rolled his eyes. "I don't love you. Now, get out of my room."

The pink dragoness began to wail pitifully, walking as slow as possible out of the room. Flame eyed the pink dragoness' curves, and then motioned at the dragoness with his wing to Spyro. Spyro looked confused, so Flame motioned again and winked.

Catching his drift, Spyro said, "Hey, did you want to spend the night with _Spyro?" _

The pink dragoness abruptly stopped crying. "Y-yes…"

"Oh!" Exclaimed Spyro. "I'm sorry—Spyro and I switched bodies for a few days, just to see what it was like. I'm Flame, and that's Spyro."

The pink dragoness looked from Spyro to Flame, and then back again. "Really?"

"Really," assured Flame, who draped a wing over her back and led her out of the room.

Once they were out of earshot, Cynder hissed, "You and Flame _switched bodies! _You've got to be shitting me. I can't believe she bought that."

"Well, the sues aren't known for their intelligence," laughed Spyro. "Rather, the lack thereof."

"True," agreed Cynder. They were both silent for a moment. Then, Spyro looked pleadingly at Cynder. "What?" She asked.

Spyro simply kept looking at her.

"No."

"But-"

"_No_."

**…...**

"So, what's your name?" Asked Flame, entwining his tail around the pink dragoness'. They were making their way through the seemingly endless hallways of the temple. Flame had surreptitiously taken the long way so he could get to know the Sue a little better before he slept with her.

"Bella," she said sweetly, pressing her side against Flame's.

"Son of a bitch," Flame whispered under his breath.

"What?" Bella asked.

"Nothing," he smiled. "C'mon, here's my—uh, Flame's room." He pushed the door open with his hip, grinning as she squealed with delight when she saw the inside of his room.

"I _love _it!" She shrieked happily, running into the room and flopping down on the plush red cushion that often served as Flame's bed. Unlike Spyro's room, Flame's room was lavishly decorated with paintings and pieces of metal shaped into tongues of flame.

Bella started ogling at the different trinkets that adorned Flame's shelves and walls, seeming to only be a blur as she moved from trinket to trinket. Flame sighed. "I thought you guys typically went to bed sort of early," he said, trying to strike up conversation.

At the mention of being tired, the Sue seemed to deflate. She trudged back over to the plush red cushion and flopped down on it, snoring innocently.

Flame simply stared at her. "That would be impressive if it weren't so annoying." He sighed again. "I wish I could fall asleep in ten seconds flat."

**…...**

"So, how was your night?" Asked Spyro, punching Flame lightly on the shoulder.

"Awful," Flame grunted. "And lonely."

"What?" Spyro asked, taken aback. "You had the pink sue, and possibly Ember. How the hell were you lonely?"

"Bella, that pink sue, was just too damn cute!" Growled Flame. "I just couldn't do it with a clear conscience. It'd be like sleeping with a child. I ended up sleeping on the floor all night." He stretched his wings and rolled his shoulders for emphasis.

"Well, what about Ember?" Cynder asked. "Surely she felt bad enough about sleeping around with the male sues to have sex with you to make up for it?"

"Yeah, and the fact that she lied to your face about it, too," added Spyro.

"And that she's probably in one of their beds right now," nodded Cynder.

"I'm _so_ glad that I can count on you two to make me feel better," growled Flame, raising an annoyed eyebrow at his two friends.

"Hey, you owe me," grinned Spyro cockily. "If it wasn't for that awesome cover story that I pulled out of thin air, you wouldn't have even had the _chance_ to sleep with the sue."

"Like hell I do," retorted Flame. "First of all, you could have said just about anything, and the sue would've believed it. Second, that was one of the w_orst _cover stories that I've ever heard. I was amazed that even the sue bought it."

Cynder tried to hold back a giggle, but only succeeded in snorting loudly.

"It was a good story," muttered Spyro stubbornly.

Flame snorted. "You can ask anyone; that story sucked." They stopped; they had arrived at Ember's room, which was locked.

"Hey, Cynder—" started Flame.

"Sure thing," smiled I, disappearing into her own shadow.

Mere seconds later, a slightly muffled shriek was heard from the room. The door flung open and a black blur sped out of the room and into the hall, a ball of Shadowfire billowing right behind him.

"Get _out of here, _I!" Screamed Ember. "What the hell do you think you're doing, anyways?"

"The Guardians told us to come get you using any means possible," said I in a matter-of-factly tone. "So, that's what we're doing."

Ember simply glowered at her.

I grinned smugly at her in response, and walked out the door with her tail held high. "You're welcome," she said to Flame as she walked past him.

"Actually," sniggered Flame, "I was just going to ask you to pick the lock with your tail blade. I suppose that works too, though."

* * *

SPYRO: OH MAH GAWD GUISE LET'S DO SOME SORT OF SHITTY, UNNECESSARY, SCRIPT-FORMAT DIALOGUE AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER! WHY, YOU ASK? _HELL IF I KNOW! _

CYNDER: *Shits a brick* SPYRO THAT'S SUCH AN AWESOME IDEA YOU'RE A GENIUS COME HERE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I WANT YOUR BABIES.

EMBER: BUT I WANT HIS BABIES _MOAR_!

FLAME: *Forever alone*

EMBER: *Dies for abso-fucking-lutely no reason at all* NOEEEEZ! SPYRO HELP ME!

SPYRO: *Puts on sunglasses* DEAL WITH IT.

CYNDER: *Suddenly has black leather harnesses and bridles and such* NOW THAT WE'RE ALONE, SPYRO, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

SPYRO: *Thinks for a moment* I THINK I'D LIKE A SCONE.

Cynder: ... Dafuk?

* * *

**(A/N): ... What the hell did I just type. **


End file.
